I am not a big Lady Gaga fan, but I am a big fan of sex. And last time I asked my magic 8 ball, I still like sex with women. So, naturally since Lady Gaga has Lady in her name, I sought out videos of her so I could pretend I am having sex with her while I wait for my girlfriend to get off the school bus, I mean, get off of work. However, I was a bit confused at first by her epic video for Paparazzi. So, being the kind soul that I am (and having nothing to do since the feds blocked me from logging on to my candylandman69 AIM account)I will guide you through the first few boring minutes so that you may cut to the part where you see her ass and envision putting small toys inside of it.
:11- Looks like a porn. I like porn. Especially the kind that is free and doesn't involve watching large black men that make me feel insecure.
:45- There are bills with her face on them. No wonder there is no furniture in this house. She is trying to buy shit with Monopoly money.
1:11- I realize why I would have sex with Lady Gaga. Any woman that wears weightlifting gloves and diamond knuckles to bed is either ready to fuck, or ready to curb stomp the boogyman. I'll take my chances.
1:34- A ram. She's only partly badass. Stuff a jackalope, and then we can talk.
2:03- Not sure if I am more baffled at the fact they are about to fuck on a 30' high railing, or the fact that someone still wears suspenders. Are you going to sip moonshine and read an almanac after you are finished?
2:39- I feel like Mugatu is trying to brainwash me to model for him. And it is working.
3:03- They still publish newspapers? Are pagers still around too? Why wasn't I informed?
3:08- Song begins and so does my erection. Only problem is the song lasts till 7:52, but my penis falls off at 5:53- One Eyed Willy was looking at me like he wanted to play alter boy with my man parts.
(Devin is the creator of I'm Cool, You're Not!)